


My Only Friend: The End

by connorssock



Series: Prompt Fills [22]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-21
Updated: 2019-09-26
Packaged: 2020-09-23 10:35:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20338729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/connorssock/pseuds/connorssock
Summary: For the prompt: Suicidal Gavin, please?Heed the tags!





	1. My Only Friend: The End

**Author's Note:**

> This is a very bleak fic with an open ending as to whether the suicide attempt is successful or not. Heed the tags, stay safe and use common sense.  
Chapter 2 does not end on a potential character death but it does still have an ambiguous ending.

The revolution was over. It was a success. Gavin threw his badge onto the table along with his coat and looked bleakly around his house. Everything was over and yet everything was once again up in the air. He was suspended for assaulting Connor, for getting into a fistfight with a fellow officer, all while on duty too. Like that piece of plastic was his equal. Huffing out a humourless laugh, Gavin kicked at the chair. Everything he had been building towards, one of the last secure jobs in this miserable country and it was gone. Connor had proved that. Humiliated him, showed how flawed and useless humans were in comparison to his perfection. Gavin couldn’t stand seeing his reflection in the microwave and turned away from it with a growl.

Pointless, a waste of space. There wasn’t even a point anymore. Anderson and his plastic pet were the celebrated heroes of the precinct while Gavin himself was the shunned monster of this nightmare. Everything he had worked for, sacrificed so much for, it had gone up in smoke the moment Connor had walked through the doors of the DPD and sat his stupid plastic butt on the chair opposite Anderson’s desk. His therapist would have had a few choice words to say to Gavin about it all but she wasn’t there. Nobody was there for him anymore. Not since she was replaced with an android and Gavin had refused to go see that tin can, engineered to look sympathetic all while boiling him down to core traits which it would find faults in. Gavin didn’t need a bucket of bolts to tell him he was being aggressive and selfish without reason and probably had abandonment issues. No, what he needed was a fellow human to just listen. And the androids had taken even that small measure of comfort away from him. Pills alone didn’t do much for him, most days he skipped them anyway now, fat lot of good they did.

Slumping down onto his couch, Gavin could feel the anger bleed out from his body and he almost wished it would come back. So he could rage against Connor, hurl insults at anyone who dared slight him even by accident. Because without the fiery hatred to fuel him, he was left hollow, bleak and a meat puppet of fate. And fate really seemed to have it in for him.

Gavin refused to cry. Tears had never helped anyone ever. He’d seen too many teary victims at work, dealt with criminals who thought crying would get them a lighter sentence. Sobbing never lightened a sentence, neither did it make the aftermath of an incident easier to bear for the victim. No, the only thing that helped was action, doing something to remedy the situation, move it forward in a way that suited the individual best. Except, Gavin had already tried that. He’d challenged Connor and lost. Not just the fight, but also his dignity, his chances of a promotion, possibly his badge when more androids came flooding in to take his job.

There was no way Gavin was going to live through the humiliation of redundancy, of having to pack up his desk because he would be one of the first to go, there was no doubt. The android hater. The intolerant prick. The one suspended because he attacked a fellow officer and his once immaculate record was tarnished with a suspension thanks to a hate crime.

He had no doubt that with such a record, the way employment rates were going, Gavin was going to become just another statistic. His whole life he had dedicated to police work, he had no other marketable skills, no other avenue to turn to that an android wouldn’t easily oust him from.

Hopeless despair clawed at his chest. The more he thought about it, the more things crystallised in his mind. Gavin wasn’t well liked. He had nobody to turn to for help, as if his pride would have ever allowed that anyway. It didn’t matter though, it worked in his favour now. There was no future he wanted, the revolution had stripped any hope from him. Alone, angry and without direction. It didn’t matter. He didn’t matter.

There was no dignity in death. He’d seen too many of those too at work, attended too many call-outs to deaths which weren’t being treated as suspicious but until they were confirmed, still needed a homicide detective assigned to the case. At least those had given him a twisted insight into the various creative ways people killed themselves, knew which ones made him wince and which ones seemed more tolerable. He always told everyone the rope in his garage was for towing. Only his therapist hadn’t believed him. She was a good egg, Gavin hoped she wouldn’t catch wind of what had happened to him, that he couldn’t be a disappointment to someone for one final time.

Some things there was no point in delaying. If Gavin had been sentimental, he would have indulged in a final takeaway from his favourite place, maybe thought about leaving a note. Not that he had anyone to write a goodbye to but perhaps he owed the poor sod who found him an apology. Except, it was likely to be a plastic prick and those didn’t deserve anything from Gavin.

Looking around his home for one last time, Gavin wiped a hand over his face. He wasn’t going to miss it. Too many lonely nights spent hoping his phone might light up with a message from someone he knew. He’d even tried online but he was too abrasive and private to even manage to nurture anything more than a distant acknowledgement of his existence in circles of shared interest.

Never having been one to delay things once his mind was made up, Gavin stood. His knee clicked painfully. That was another thing he wasn’t going to miss. Getting older sucked, more and more things hurt without reason. All the more reason to be done with life.

If he was feeling more generous, he could have tidied up a little. Laid everything out for the forensics team on the table so there was no doubt what and who they were dealing with. Made the place a little less scruffy, maybe even laid out a table of biscuits and a selection of teas and coffees in the kitchen with a “help yourself” label. But the house was only going to be cleared out anyway, it didn’t make much of a difference to the clean-up and removals crew whether his coat was on the table or hanging up.

He walked into the garage, his resolution to end it all giving him a purpose once more. If there was anything he could say about his life, he could say that at least he had always been true to himself. The hatred of androids wasn’t swung by the appearance of a pretty boy in the precinct like Anderson had been. Until the very end he had stood by his own morals, stuck to what he had believed in, stood up for what he thought was right. It was just a shame that not everybody saw it like that. Not that it mattered anymore. The suspension was for a week, nobody would be bothering to check in on him in all that time. By the time anyone actually realised that he wasn’t turning up for his shift, nothing would matter anymore. Connor or some other plastic idiot would have his desk, his cases, the job and life he’d worked so hard for.

All Gavin’s focus turned on getting things set up. He only wanted one shot at this and wanted it over and done with as quickly as possible. From the garage, he didn’t hear his doorbell go. Not that he would have answered it anyway. There was nothing anyone could offer him anymore. He was tired. He was done.

There was no reply to the bell and Hank frowned. Gavin’s car was in the driveway and knowing him, he hadn’t gone out. It wasn’t like the guy had many people lining up to spend time with him. It was part of the reason Fowler had sent Hank after him. To make sure he didn’t take the suspension to heart too much. An unofficial check-in and chat that, depending on how things went, could be an early end to the suspension. Numbers at the bullpen were low, people had fled Detroit with everything going on, they needed all hands on deck ideally.

Trying to door handle, Hank was surprised to find it was open and he stepped in with a loud call for Gavin.

“Reed?”

There was no answer and Hank shut the door behind him. Everything looked fine, if a little messy. A home that was lived in. He saw Gavin’s badge carelessly thrown on the table next to his coat.

“Reed? Gavin?” he shouted again. There was no reply and he walked through the house, trying to find and sign of life.

Lastly, he walked towards the garage when he heard some noise from there. Rushing in, he tore the door open and his eyes widened, aghast.

“Gavin, no!”


	2. Mutually Assured Distraction

Instinct kicked in and Hank rushed towards Gavin, shoving a shoulder under him and heaving. The weak kick and frustrated whine he got for his efforts was not appreciated.

“Let me,” a smooth voice cut in and hoisted Gavin off Hank’s shoulder. The next moment a gunshot rang through the garage and Gavin was toppling down, the stranger letting him crumple to the ground wheezing. Hank cast the newcomer a long, hard look before his gaze strayed to the rope he’d shot through.

“Fuck you!” Gavin croaked from the ground, his hands tugging at the rope. “You can’t even let me die in peace!”

“Just because I think you’re a pain in the ass and don’t like you doesn’t mean I want you dead,” Hank shot back. He could see the bruise already forming around Gavin’s neck, his eyes were bloodshot too. Fuck, it had been a close call. Seeing Gavin’s face shutter though, Hank realised he’d said the wrong thing and tried to backtrack rapidly. “I didn’t mean it like that. I like you, sort of, like a distant colleague-”

“Shut up,” Gavin interrupted. “Just shut the fuck up and leave. Please.”

He was defeated, shoulders slumped and knees drawn to his chest. All pride, the usual cocksure attitude, the casual aggression, it was all gone. Left behind was the hollow husk of a man, defeated and without the energy to fight back anymore.

“Why couldn’t you just turn around and leave for three minutes?” Gavin’s voice was strained. “You turned a blind eye to so much other shit over the years. Why couldn’t you do just this one thing for me? Just let me die. Please.”

His eyes strayed to the stranger and he scoffed but made no move the berate or even engage with the android. “I see you brought reinforcement. Was Connor knocking me out not enough proof that I’m not as good, will never be as good as an android. You had to bring the upgrade to rub it in?”

“Hello Detective Reed,” the android in question crouched down in front of him. “I’m Nines, an RK900 freed by Connor at CyberLife Tower. As of earlier this afternoon, Detroit Central have assigned me as your partner. When I turned up at the precinct, I was told you had been sent home. So I came to introduce myself.”

Sneering, Gavin turned away. “Partner? More like replacement. Show them how much better, quicker and cheaper your can be. Might as well offer to buy me some more rope.”

Even Hank looked a little dumbfounded by the revelation. He tried to butt in but Nines held up a hand. “Please, Lieutenant, we will see you tomorrow morning. If you could keep the events of this afternoon to yourself, both I and Detective Reed would be most grateful.”

The next morning, Hank had every intention of going to the precinct early to catch Fowler for a chat. However, Nines was marching in ahead of him with Gavin in tow. At least Gavin had the sense to be bundled up in a scarf and a jumper with a high neck. He was left at his desk by Nines who marched up to Fowler’s office, only to be greeted with a frown.

Inside the office, Nines stood with his back straight and offered Fowler a polite smile.

“Captain Fowler,” he began.

“Who are you and how did you get in? This is a restricted area for authorised personnel only. Visitors cannot be unaccompanied.”

Nines didn’t appreciate being cut off, especially not when he was making a point of being polite. “I was about to introduce myself as Nines, an RK900, before you interrupted me. I am here to offer my services as a detective android, partner to Detective Reed. It would be in your interest to graciously accept my proposal without putting up a fight. I am CyberLife’s perfected android and I will get what I want.”

From the outside, Hank watched, attention torn between Gavin and Fowler’s office. Most people steered clear of Gavin, uncertain whether he was back as an employee, a disgruntled ex-employee or even a suspect. It certainly didn’t help that the android who had accompanied him looked so imposing. Three minutes after Nines disappeared into Fowler’s office, he was back out and approaching Gavin with a pleased little smile.

“We have a case, Detective, come along now.”

Wordlessly, Gavin followed. Nobody heard him speak for the following couple of days but it didn’t seem to bother Nines who brought him warm teas unprompted and easily carried any conversation or questioning for cases.

In the privacy of his own home, Gavin wasn’t alone. Nines followed him, kept him company even if he didn’t have anything to say. Three days after Nines and Hank stopped him, he finally began to talk again.

“Why are you here?” His voice was still hoarse, croaky with disuse and bruising.

“I was created by CyberLife. I guess humans wanted to create something greater than themselves.”

Shaking his head, Gavin huffed bitterly. “Not that. Why here? Why me?”

The delight of deviancy was that Nines could lie as and when he wanted. He didn’t have to weigh up the benefits and the potential risk of outcomes if he was discovered. Instead, he could smile softly at Gavin, almost like he cared.

“I wanted to.” He shrugged. “I woke up already a deviant in this world, my purpose was null and void. So I improvised, followed in my brother’s footsteps and repurposed myself from military model to detective. And as Hank already has Connor as a partner, you became mine.”

It seemed enough of an explanation as Gavin nodded. If Nines wasn’t an android, he wouldn’t have caught the softly muttered “so you rifled through the leftovers and only found me” which, well, it wasn’t quite true but Nines wasn’t going to argue it. Instead, he settled on the sofa next to Gavin and slung an arm around his shoulders, letting him settle against his chest.

“You know the saying, one man’s trash is another man’s treasure.”

It as least got a small laugh from Gavin but the tenseness at Nines’ actions seemed to slowly bleed out of him.

Over the weeks, Gavin slowly clawed himself back together. He had no other option when Nines followed him around like a dog. Connor may have been a poodle but Nines was most certainly something much more terrifying. Perhaps a doberman or a husky. But that was ridiculous, Gavin didn’t need to be comparing his work partner to a dog.

The first time Nines kissed Gavin, it was on the sofa at the end of a film neither of them had really been paying attention to. Nines because he had no interest in the film and already downloaded the film, analysis and bloopers. Gavin because he couldn’t bring himself to focus on something long enough to keep up with a film. So when Nines kissed him, it had taken him completely by surprise, his lips soft and slack under Nines’. However, it wasn’t taken advantage of, Nines only pressed their lips together and let them share a few breaths before pulling away with a small smile.

“If you get lost in your head again, just remember you have this to come back to.”

It was said with such utter simplicity, a small smile and seemingly zero expectations that Gavin nodded and settled back into the arms around him.

From that moment on, kisses became more frequent. To start with, Nines initiated them more, turned Gavin’s face towards him with gentle hands when there was nobody around. His patience and persistence paid off and, one dreary evening, Gavin stood up on his tiptoes to press a kiss against dry lips in the kitchen before scurrying away.

It had taken Gavin a long time to accept Nines in his life. At first, he was a plastic prick, intent on making him suffer by ensuring his lived. Not just that, but that he had to work with him and suffer the knowledge that an android could do his job better than a human could ever even hope. So Gavin let him get on with it, prove how outdated something like a human detective was. Nines could do all the work and reap all the rewards. All Gavin wanted was to be given a chance to rest. He had given up, there was nothing left worth fighting for. Gavin had become Nines’ meat puppet, there for show but not much use.

Oddly though, Nines never made a show of doing all the work. Of picking up the slack and outperforming Gavin. Each report bore both their names, shared the merits of a job well done equally between them.

Then Nines had kissed him and Gavin had wondered whether this was the price for his job. If he had to give up his body in order to keep the charade of being a functional detective. However, not once did Nines push for more, simply stealing kisses when Gavin was getting too lost in his head. In the end, Gavin had taken it upon himself to try and elicit more, kissing Nines of his own volition and running away, scared of the consequences. Nothing happened beyond Nines gifting him with a gentle smile.

Some days, the only way Gavin could feel alive was when he kissed Nines. It became a habit of sorts. On the days that work was failing to keep Gavin occupied, the ones where everything was dragging and everyone seemed to be up in arms against him, he’d find solace in Nines. Even on days when Hank pulled his gun on Gavin but refused to shoot, no matter how much Gavin goaded him. Those too ended with Nines wrapping his arms around Gavin and letting their kiss deepen.

It was only natural that the kisses progressed, that Gavin would pull them closer together, seek more comfort, more confirmation that he was alive and could feel. Nines helped ease a thigh between his legs and let Gavin roll his hips against him.

“Why are you still here?” Gavin asked one evening, skin still clammy with cooling sweat and his heart still beating fast in his chest after climax.

It was a question Nines couldn’t honestly answer. He couldn’t tell Gavin the truth, so he glossed over it as much as he could.

“Because I want to be. Because I can be.”

After a beat of silence, Gavin turned his face into the crook of Nines’ neck and his lips brushed against the port there as he spoke.

“I think I love you.”

The words were barely audible but Nines still heard it and wished he hadn’t. That wasn’t a sentiment he could ever return. Not without wiping his memories, the ones Connor had transferred to him.

“You can’t love a machine, Gavin,” he tried to argue.

“You’re different.”

That was a sentiment Gavin’s stuck to with vehement adamance. Nines was different, he was an entity in his own right. Activated a deviant, he was never in the servitude of a human. Never a mindless, soulless being. He was unique, his line never got to become a mundane, everyday sight. Gavin had always known Nines as Nines, an android and not a machine.

By contrast, when cases came that involved androids, Gavin still bristled, still called them unsavoury names behind their backs. At least he held back until they were in the privacy of their car or somewhere out of hearing range. Each venomously spat curse burned through Nines’ systems, hurt him in a way that no words could describe.

“Why are you so vile?” Nines couldn’t take it one day. “You call androids all these names under the sun but I’m one of them.”

“You’re different, you’re you.” Gavin’s hands were flying through the air in big gestures, trying to explain it. “I see you and I see my Nines. My saviour. I look at them and see a bucket of rusted bolts, sheep who think they’re equal to humans who, only months ago, they were bending over backwards to serve.”

There was nothing Nines could really say to that. He was stunned into silence which Gavin took as a prompt to go on.

“They’re just dime a dozen, all the same, they’re androids and you’re not!”

“I am an android!” Nines cried. To prove his point, he deactivated his skin and stared Gavin down who backed away from him. “I am just like them. A rusty bucket of nuts and bolts, a plastic prick, a soulless, mindless machine!”

“You’re different because I love you. You have to be different!” A hand over his mouth, Gavin stared at him with horror filled eyes. He whimpered before turning and running, slamming the door to their bedroom shut behind him.

Closing his eyes, Nines allowed his skin to flow back, he didn’t know what to say to Gavin. All the old emotions which never really went away came rushing back from the recesses he’d buried them in. It wasn’t as though he could tell Gavin the truth though. The ugly truth exactly as it was. That Nines wasn’t assigned as a partner to him. That he wasn’t at Gavin’s house to introduce himself. Well, not like that anyway. He had been freshly awoken and deviated, Connor had shared his memories, amongst them were his few, brief interaction with Gavin. And Nines had seen a fresh layer of red, rage had clouded his judgement and he was out for vengeance. He was going to avenge his brother, find the man who hurt him and make him pay.

In place of an opponent, Nines had found a broken man. The shell of the bully he’d seen in all those memories. There was no revenge in kicking a man while he was down. Instead, Nines had been fascinated in much the same was a scientist is fascinated by an ant. It hadn’t been his intention to lead Gavin on, to waft the embers of attachment into flames but there was no stopping it. Not without doing damage that Nines wasn’t prepared to do anymore. A man willing to kill himself was not a worthy opponent. There was no lower he could fall in Nines’ eyes.

All his meddling has led them to where they now were. He could hear Gavin’s cries through the closed door and he was faced with a choice. Leave now, walk out the front door and never see Gavin again. At first because of avoidance and then because, without a doubt, it will have pushed Gavin over the edge. Or he could walk through the bedroom door, sit on the bed and try to scrape up the pieces. Steeling himself, Nines walked through the door.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr on @connorssock or, if you need some lighthearted idiocy after this then @dumbwaystodeviate is where you'll find daily, silly deviation stories from me.


End file.
